Hi Baby. I know it's been awhile since I wrote but I have been busy with work and the kids, you know how it is. I come to the cemetery everyday and write in my journal to you. The kids are doing fine, although they do miss you very much as do I. This year christmas is proving to be very hard, I am looking forward to it being over as soon as possible. I wasn't able to go to Salem because the weather up there has been bad and I didn't want to chance getting stuck up there. Even though christmas isn't joyous for me this year, I still have the kids that I have to be here for. I went and got their hair trimmed today, they look very nice. Stephanie is really looking like you more now, espically with her hair cut. Stephanie made it on the honor roll this year. She missed principals list by one lousy point. We went and got their picture with santa at the mall too. What a mad house that place was. Hot Topic is closing in our stink mall, unreal. As you would say our mall sucks. Me and the kids spent the whole day just doing stuff that they enjoy. I'll tell you, I'm sure you know though, what a pistol Emma is becoming. Everyday she sounds more and more like you. She doesn't take any crap from anybody. She is also doing well in school, she's so smart, just like you, thank goodness she inherited your brain. We miss you so much I can't even describe it. I think about you every minute of every day. I love you so much, my heart is so broken that I don't know how I'm still here. I guess I don't have any choice, the kids need me and I guess that's what keeps me going. It's been hard espically with my therapist on vacation for three weeks. Last week I had a temporary mental breakdown, at least that's what the doctor said. He said I was lucky that I snappe out of it, I almost got put in crisis, I just went "loopy" for about ten hours, alot of which I don't really remember. That scared me seeing how fast your mind can break, without any warning. It's late and I'm getting tired so I am going to try to get some sleep. Until later today, my love, I'll see you in a few hours. I love you with all my being. Merry chritmas sweetheart.